i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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