How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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