I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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