her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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