i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
