Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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