Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
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I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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