it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
