I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
