Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
