I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize