yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
