1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
