its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
