You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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