That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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