ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
