Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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