Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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