you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
