Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
