You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
