i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
