it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
