i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Hippo gnu deer
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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