you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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