I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
