You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
