remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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