I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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