Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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