she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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