i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Randomize
