You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
