Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the day after is always just damage control
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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