We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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