R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
