roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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