if i can run in heels then i can drive
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
