yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
