Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
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I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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