Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
True but thats because hes a fetus.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
