Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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