Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
