He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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