I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
