some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
