Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i dont even know how to be here
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize