Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
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