Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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