Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
