I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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