My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize