More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize