You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
