True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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