you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
