I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
