I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
