My hand turned me down
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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