Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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