I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
