I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
